Full time family travel. Why it’s not for us.

Exploring rock pools.  My favourite childhood travel memory that I try and recreate with my own kids.

Exploring rock pools. My favourite childhood travel memory that I try and recreate with my own kids.

God bless ‘em, those folk that travel full time with their young kids. Some of the most successful Aussie family travel blogs have arisen out of the experiences of nomadic families. If you want to discover what life’s like for families on the road long term check out Y Travel blog, Where’s Sharon and Travel with Bender. I love travel – love it. I love the smell of airports and I love long cross-country road trips. Sit me down at a river bank with a group of West Irian ladies doing their washing or take me for a ride in the back of a ute with a group of Karen refugees, singing on their way to a festival and I am in heaven. Before I had kids I would have happily meandered around the globe non-stop. While having my kids hasn’t clipped my wings it has meant that I need to take them off, give them a wash and hang them in a wardrobe once in a while. This post isn’t about judging those that live a nomadic life with their kids. Rather it is about declaring why I am one hundred and ninety nine percent certain that a nomadic family existence isn’t right for our own family.

Home-schooling – my idea of hideous.

I have a child in early primary school that means if we hit the road full-time, as well as being mum and general family dogsbody I would also have to be a teacher. The thing is, my son is great for his teachers, not so much for me. It may be that I am doing something dreadfully wrong as a parent but dealing with challenging behaviour is a daily struggle in our house.   My personal interpretation of the angelic behaviour at school phenomenon is that social pressure and cues, to behave, listen and participate are good for my eccentric, strong willed son. Take that away, give me the teacher role and there is a real risk his learning trajectory would falter. Now to those that say travel teaches you so much more than school I partially agree. It does teach young kids many worthy and wonderful things they won’t learn in a class-room. However, travel isn’t going to teach my kids how to read, write and calculate, all essential components of their long term education. Also, the teachers at my kid’s school have studied and trained for their role. As well as benefiting from the care and education delivered by his classroom teacher he also benefits from the expertise of his music, art and physical education teachers. Do I believe I have expertise in all of these areas – absolutely not! For those parents that pull off home-schooling, hats off to you for a job well done. I’m in awe.

Routine

If there was one component of parenthood that I resisted it was the constraints of routine. I wish I could construct a clever acronym for the word ROUTINE but all I can come up with is Bleugh! Routine is not my friend. It does appear however that routine is very much a friend of my sons. Routine brings out their strengths, assists them to handle anxiety and creates a comforting environment where they strive to be their best. Clearly that I write a travel blog indicates our house isn’t all about routine. In order to keep the peace routine has become an essential part of our family life.   Breaking the routine to explore our hometown and for getaways works, as long as it is not all the time. Period of returning to routine before the next adventure are essential.

I love my job

I work as a doctor and medical educator. There are doctor roles that fit well with the nomadic lifestyle (and that I have filled previously).  Childcare to allow me to work relies on us having a home base.

Relationships with family and community

I lived away from my family and most of my close friends for the last ten years. This was ok with me. Our relationships were strong as a consequence of visits, us to them and them to us, as well as communication technology. My kids on the other hand thrive, I mean really thrive spending time with extended family. Strong bonds with family have been demonstrated to be a contributor to childhood resilience. I have come to realise that for our kids, the bonds we need to strengthen are those outside of our own nuclear family.

I need a little space from my kids

I am not one of those parents that is blessed with an extended family that shares the care of my kids (although they love them). I am also not blessed with a husband that shares an equal load of childcare. The reality is that the lion’s share of caring for three kids under seven falls on me.   Those blessed moments of personal space I get in the evenings when the kids are asleep are all that stands between a degree of daily composure and a mega mama wig out. When we are traveling the five of us share two hotel rooms, or we hire a two-bedroom unit. Personal space quickly becomes a thing of the past.

So where does all that leave me as a travel blogger? A travel blogger I respect recently told me that at a travel writing workshop she was told only full time nomads can be travel writers. What I know is that although there are many families that dream of hitting the road full time with their brood, there are others that understand doing so wouldn’t be in the best interest of their family unit. I’m writing for those of you for whom a home base is important but who love to explore the world within the constraints of their children’s and spouse’s needs.

There are other part-timers like me writing about family travel. Last year I wrote a post about five family travel bloggers should be reading – all of them family travellers with a home base.

During the next four months we’ll be visiting four different destinations. Cairns, Singapore, Thailand and Bali. I can’t wait to share our experiences on this blog and hopefully inspire some of you in your own travels. In the meantime a photo gallery of some of my favourite family travel moments.

Exploring the Victorian Highlands

Exploring the Victorian Highlands

 

Visiting Ettalong on the Central Coast

Visiting Ettalong on the Central Coast

Visiting the Colosseum when Bub 1 was 1 month old

Visiting the Colosseum when Bub 1 was 1 month old

We made it to Disneyland

Disneyland in 2012

Bubs on the Move provides tips and advice for parents traveling with small children including attraction and accommodation reviews. I’d love for ya’ll to join us on our adventures by either signing up for the newsletter, joining us on Facebook,  Twitter,Pinterest and Instagram to receive updates.

 

© Copyright 2015 Danielle, All rights Reserved. Written For: Bubs on the Move

6 thoughts on “Full time family travel. Why it’s not for us.

  1. I think you and I are cut from the same cloth. I could never do full-time family travel and for many of the same reasons as you. First of all, I don’t understand my 15 year old’s homework. If I can’t even help him with his homework, I certainly shouldn’t be put in charge of teaching him 100%. For my younger kids, I just don’t seem to have the patience. It’s the same reason why I’ve always said that I completely respect classroom teachers because it’s a job that I could never do. I need my space, too, and have been known to hide out in the hotel bathroom so that I could read after the kids have gone to bed. I can’t see myself doing that for months. My kids also love the time they spend with their grandparents and cousins. We skipped Christmas with the extended family one year to visit Australia instead. While the kids enjoyed the trip, they still bring up how sad they were to miss celebrating with family. My parents and in-laws are hitting the elderly stage, and I’m rather sure that the upcoming years will involve lots of helping them out and eventually caring for them. My husband loves his job, and it’s not a location independent one. Last of all — and this is the most important reason — my husband and kids don’t want to do it. Getting them to visit some of the less developed countries was a big, big deal. They would absolutely balk at doing it full time. Some nomadic families I know are fine with only having part of the group do it while leaving others behind, but not me. Having Malaysia as a base for 3 years was wonderful because we had a chance to really dig in and learn about the culture while doing short international trips. I had a chance to meet many nomadic families in person because Penang is a popular stopping point for them. If you look at the stages of expat life, it starts with the honeymoon stage, moves to the “everything is wrong” stage and then eventually settles down into acceptance. One thing that I realized about nomadic families is that they get to run off to a different place once the honeymoon is over. They never have to experience the fortitude it takes to reach acceptance. It’s like the difference between casual dating and making the commitment to a long term relationship. It’s a bit snobbish to think that only full-time nomadic travelers can be bloggers. Even people who live in the same place where they’ve lived their entire life but still have the adventurous spirit to go off and explore are bonafide travelers, too. Enjoy your upcoming travels. [My response is so long that it could be a blog post in itself.]

    • Michele I am thrilled that you have taken the time to write such a thoughtful and detailed comment. I’ve never had the conversation with my husband about full time nomadic travel (although we have toyed with the idea of a 3 month adventure). What we do talk about often though – and to be honest we clash a little on is moving (as opposed to traveling) around. I really appreciate living in a new place for a few years and going through those phases you describe so well. In the last ten years we have lived in five different towns and cities. All of those moves were related to work but now our kids are older we have compromised on having a steady base and doing frequent short trips. Since we made the move back to Melbourne to be closer to family I can also see how good it is for my kids, so I’m sold. I am looking forward to our upcoming trips though!

  2. Hi there lovely!

    I absolutely agree with you and luckily there is a growing number of travel bloggers with a home base. Although I admire YTravelBlog etc… I could not think of caravanning around Australia on extended period together. It sounds romantic but the reality would be quite scary! I also agree homeschooling!? Whaaat?

    You touch on great points especially community. It takes a village.

    xo

  3. A great post and I really agree with you – I also disagree that only full-time nomads can be travel writers; that’s simply not true. I also love travelling with my family, but we have another life too which is very important – schools, relatives, ours jobs, friends and more (including teaching your children that life isn’t just about travel, but so much more than that). It’s all about balance for us. Enjoy your upcoming travels – they sound terrific.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *